Weighty Recap: Week 15

The bad news received at this week’s weigh-in was entirely my fault.  I can’t explain why, but I fell off the wagon for a few days this week.  Unfortunately, my fall included some pizza, french fries, and swedish fish… among other things.  As you would expect, the fall did not make me feel good about myself.  I ate too much and ended up miserable.  Then, in normal Sarah fashion, it took me a few days to completely recover and get back OP.  But that is ok.  I am back now, feeling better and willing to work off the 0.4 gain from this past week.

Weighty Recap: Week 14

I am starting to think that my 3.4 pound loss last week was not just a fluke, and that maybe, just maybe, the plateau is over. After a relatively uneventful Week 14, I stepped on the scale Tuesday night to find that I had lost another 1.4 pounds, bringing me to 21.6 overall. That means I am 26.7% of the way to goal. When I started to think about it, I couldn’t decide whether that was good, or just depressing. But I think for now I will fight the urge to focus on the 73.3% of my journey that remains and instead focus on the fact that I have stuck with this for 14 whole weeks, with relatively consistent success.

Weighty Recap: Week 13

It’s hard to believe that it has been 13 weeks already – the summer seems to have flown by.  Fortunately (for me and, let’s be honest, for everyone in the vicinity), I had a loss this week.  So there was no need for tears and definitely no need for a temper tantrum of any variety.  I have been working very hard and have definitely  rededicated myself to the program over the past few weeks, so I knew there was a very good chance that this would be the week I broke through the plateau.  But, the actual number was a little surprising – and this time, it was a good surprise.  I lost 3.4 pounds this week, bringing me just over 20 pounds lost in all.  Let the collective sigh of relief begin…

Don’t Make Me Pull a Veruca

I want a loss…

I want a big loss…

GIVE IT TO ME NOW!

I’m not a bad egg.  I will bust through this plateau no matter how long it takes, but it would really help my mental state if I could have a loss this week.  Seriously, I could really use it.

After finally coming to grips with the fact that I am on a plateau, I have re-dedicated myself to upping my exercise and following the program perfectly.  In fact, I am on day 15 (that’s right, FIFTEEN!) POP (Perfectly on Plan/Program).  I am back up to running almost 25 minutes in a stretch, and I am hoping for a 30 minute run tonight.  With all of this effort, I am hoping and praying for a loss on the scale this week. 

If, by chance, I see another zero this week, I am pretty sure I will be devastated.  I might even cry – considering how close to tears I came last week.  Worse yet, there is a strong chance that I will throw a full-blown temper tantrum a la Veruca Salt and the golden egg fiasco.  So keep your fingers crossed – for more reasons than just preservation of my self respect.

Weighty Recap: Week 12

I really wish I could ignore the scale right now.  For the past 10 days, I have been perfectly OP, have gone back to running and working out at least every other day, and I am back to feeling comfortable and confident about being on program.  But for some reason, the scale is fighting me every step of the way.  My clothes are getting looser, I am starting to notice muscle tone on my arms and shoulders, but I haven’t lost a single pound (or even a fraction) in almost a month.  Talk about frustration.

Towards the middle of Week 10, I realized that I might have been slacking a little bit on program.  So I stepped it up.  Since then, I have weighed, measured, and tracked everything, and increased my activity by almost 300%.  So this week, I can honestly say that I have done everything in my power, and I don’t have any regrets.  Hopefully I can maintain this sense of determination and keep at it despite the numbers on the scale.  I can only hope that if I keep going, my body will eventually release it’s hold and let go of more of this weight.

Live for the Moment

Last night, I was reminded why I love to run.  I live for that one moment during a workout when I have been running for a while, but something happens and I feel like I could run forever without stopping.  My breathing steadies, and I just feel comfortable.  I like to refer to it my Forrest Gump feeling, but I’m pretty sure it is commonly referred to as a runner’s high.  Since I am not a real runner, I feel guilty calling it that, so I will stick with my own name.  During my run last night, I was lucky enough to have the Forrest Gump feeling on and off for about five minutes – between minutes 10 and 15 of my 20 minute run.  That is actually much longer than I have felt it in the past, and it felt good.

Between the plateau and the foot pain, the past month has been tough.  But last night I remembered that there is so much more to this journey than losing weight.  It’s about changing my lifestyle for the better, and finding happiness in the process.

Weighty Recap: Week 11

Well, no loss again this week.  This is starting to frustrate me to no end.  In all of my previous WW excursions, I have never hit a “plateau.”  But I think I might be there now.  For the past four weeks, I have been within 0.8 pounds of the same weight, and I have been exactly the same for the past three weigh-ins.  I would like to blame it on external forces outside of my control, but sadly, I don’t think that would be a very productive exercise.

So, this begs the question, what is Fat Girl doing wrong?  The most likely answers are: (1) Nothing at all.  She is perfect all the time; (2) Well, she has been slacking in the “running” department; (3) She has had a few too many “free” meals the past few weeks.  The actual answer is most likely some combination of (2) and (3).

I keep noting in my Weighty Recaps that exercise has dropped off, and that I need to get back into the swing of things.  Granted, some portion of the drop-off was because of my foot.  But I have come to the realization that regardless of what I do, my foot hurts.  And it will be that way until I get the surgery (and hopefully it ends there).  Running doesn’t aggravate the pain, the pain just exists despite changes in activity.  So, suck it up and get on the treadmill!

Food-wise, the past four days have been perfectly OP.  Of course, this was after a rather non-OP weekend, during which Bob even noticed (and tactfully commented) that perhaps I was not following the program with as much dedication that I had started with.  This is true.  So, add that to my “to-do” list, and cross your fingers for a loss next week.

Weighty Recap: Week 10

Well, I didn’t lose any weight this week.  But I didn’t gain, either, so I guess I can’t complain.  I suspect that the number on the scale can be explained (at least for the most part) by non-food related things that I don’t have any control over (but that make it oh so much fun to be a woman).  Enough said.

Aside from that, I had a relatively good week save one “bad” meal on Sunday.  I got a few workouts in, but I still need to step it back up to where I was pre-LHH and pre-intense foot pain.  The good news on the running front, however, is that when I did finally get back on the treadmill this week, I hadn’t lost quite as much endurance as I had before, and I was able to do a good 10 minute run.  And my foot didn’t hurt any more than it does any other time. 

For the upcoming week, I will endeavor to step on the treadmill a few more times and hope for the best the next time I step on the scale.

More to Love, or More to Judge?

Save maybe one or two episodes, I have never watched “The Bachelor.” But when I started seeing previews for “More to Love,” I have to admit that I was intrigued. A “reality” dating show featuring real women, as opposed to size 0 super models? Sounds slightly more realistic, right? So, I watched. And over the course of that hour, I became absolutely disgusted. Not at the women themselves, but at the way they were portrayed, and at the message that the portrayal conveys.

When I first saw the previews, I suppose I didn’t properly anticipate the way that these girls would be shown in a light that makes each of them appear absolutely hopeless and desperate. Throughout the entire episode, 95% of the time they showed one of the girls alone in front of the camera, she was CRYING, talking about how she has no self esteem and thought no one could ever love her the way she is. Really? Is that the message we want to be sending out? If you’re overweight, you are worthless and you are lucky if you are ever able to find someone to love you being as fat and horribly unattractive as you are? But if you happen to be gorgeous and a size 0, you don’t have a care in the world and everyone will love you just because you are you. Um, hello, America?!?!?! That is f*****d up. Over the years, I have met plenty of super cute, slenderific girls who are horrible people – caddy, superficial, and downright mean. And I also know and love plenty of average sized, and even above average sized people — myself included — who still understand their worth as human beings, and know that it is not impossible to fall in love and live happily ever after even if you don’t look like Heidi Klum.

So. Please, can we not perpetuate this ridiculous stereotype any longer? If we want little girls to grow up knowing that they will be valued and cherished not for their looks but for what they contribute to the good of society, we need to stop the double standard and move on.

Ok, I’m done.

The Switch

I have an on/off switch when it comes to being OP. 97% of the time, the switch is on and I am putting along, content to make good choices, feeling comfortable and happy to be OP. The other 3% of the time, my old habits and thoughts seem to take over, and no matter how hard I push back, my body just does not want that switch to be in the “on” position. That is when a binge is more likely to happen. Thankfully, I spend much more time “on” than “off.” But if the “off” position is always hovering in the background, what does that mean for my prospects of ultimate success? Will I ever learn to completely do away with the “off”?